Take working out for example. Guess what? The stress you put on yourself about "being healthy" can make you unhealthy!!! If working out is becoming so tedious and stressful then it is probably doing more harm that good! If you are sacrificing sleep to workout, or over working yourself then you are probably doing more harm than good. We push ourselves so far in this fast paced world and then we push some more. When did we get like this? Breathe people! (I am talking to myself here also). Take a day off people! Go for a leisurely walk! Get back to nature and frolic on the beach... Yup I just said frolic :) Somewhere along my health journey my expectations of working out changed. All of a sudden it was fun to me (Say what??!). I wanted to go to the gym. I wanted to feel strong. I wanted to see results. And from that moment on it started to seem less daunting and dreaded. Of course I still have days that I don't want to go. And sometimes I go with those feelings and take the day off! Sometimes letting myself be free gives me better feelings than I could ever get from doing sit-ups. I have control of my health and I get to decide where my expectations lie with myself!
Writing this blog is another huge expectation I have of myself. I have wanted to write a blog for a few years now. I kept thinking I wasn't good enough or didn't have enough time to fully commit... until one day I finally thought "you know what if it makes you happy Katie then GO DO IT"! If you don't get to post every day.. THAT'S OK! If you don't have any one reading THAT'S OK! I try to keep this in my mind and keep it low pressure. When things are low pressure they seem more enjoyable for me. Once they start feeling like a dreaded obligation then I start resenting and withdrawing... from something I love to do! Thats crazy right???? Do you get like that or is it just me???
Here is the crazy thing of it all. We have control over some of these expectations! Sure we will always have expectations put on us from loved ones... "I hear you Dad.. more money in my 401k. GOT IT!"!... but at the end of the day I think- for me at least- I put most of this pressure on myself. I want to be the best and do good things. I want to make people happy and fit in as much living as possible! And while all of that is great sometimes we need to bring the expectations down a bit. Sometimes its ok to just let things go. Move on. Miss a beat. That is something really hard for me but I have learned that sometimes letting go means actually getting exactly what we want!
And don't get me started on expectations we have for other people. Here is a secret... "We will never be able to control each other!". Yup had to learn this one the hard way too! We were all MADE DIFFERENT! So we are all going to handle things differently, operate differently, feel differently and see things differently. So when you build up this scenario in your mind of how things are supposed to be you are setting your self up for a very big disappointment. We live in a very volatile and ever changing world. I feel comfortable having control of my environment and the people in it.. But once I learned (still learning) to let go of that control a little I gave other people the opportunity to really be themselves and shine while doing it! Plus when I wasn't living in fantasy land I was happier because I hadn't already played out every possible scenario in my head and worn myself out while doing so.
I am not suggesting that we set the bar too low however. I am talking about balance. Having goals and visions but also tossing out the unrealistic expectations of being a superhero. The people in your life probably already think of you as a superhero! That's why they stick around!
This all may seem abstract to some of you and not make sense. And that's ok... But for those of you that feel like I feel and look for stability and control in their life.. I offer up this advice to you.. Revisit your expectations of yourself and others. Be present with what is and not what you expect it to be. Be willing to change your mind, your plans, your views and your life. Stand for something but constantly be learning and evolving.
I hope this post somehow touched you and triggered some freedom in your heart. Feel free to leave a comment on what expectations you have that are doing more harm that good in your life! I would love to hear your stories of letting the reigns go! Be free! :)
xoxo
Katie
You nailed everything in this post!! Just last week I came to the realization that I was putting too much stress on myself with my workout routine in not only the number of workouts a week, but also the stress that my mind was being put through thinking about and planning the workouts. It had turned into such a vicious cycle. Now I am just doing six workouts a week that I write on a notecard every Sunday so I always know what I have ahead and it also keeps me in line. Letting go is so hard sometimes, but once you realize the benefits, it does become easier! Now that I have cut my workouts down, I have more free time at night and stress less at work freaking out if I will be done in time to make a workout. I can definitely tell the difference and it's only been a week and a half!
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